Square Peg
For the most part being tall rules. For example at concerts I can always see the stage, I can step over things in slot canyons that require extreme bouldering skills for some invertebrates, no one ever asks to ride my bike (which in my warped view of the world is akin to asking to take my GF for a whirl). There are times though that being tall is not so cool.
Flying. I think the designers of airplane seats are all 5′4″ dudes that were picked last for everything in gym glass while silently plotting their sweet revenge when they score that sweet engineering job at Boeing. Seriously veal calf’s have more room. Where the hell is Peta with my protest? I wont even go into the limbo move I have to do to use the bathroom… No matter what your height don’t ever fly on Frontier Airlines. Not only do they have the smallest seats I have ever seen but their baggage apes are barely trained. They broke my fork flying back from Lousville and ther are telling me to get bent. After 2 weeks of daily phone calls the official call is it is my fault for flying on their crappy airline. That is some great customer service they have over there.
Buying clothes. Most of my pants are flood pants. When I sit down the cuff is half way up my shins. That is because no one stocks 36″ inseam pants. I can get them mail order but that is a pain in the ass and when I buy new pants it is usually because I have ruined a nice pair of khaki’s with bike grease or blood and have nothing to wear to work tomorrow. Some stores do have what they call a Big & Tall section. This should be called the Big & Fat section. Usually they still don’t have any pants with a 36″ inseam. They do have plenty of pants with a 60″ waist. Imagine the will power of the guy with a 60″ waist rumbling up the the counter at Wendy’s sweating and out of breath, having the sheer will to say “Super size that please”. Awesome. Hey Shamu, nice pants.
The questions. I actually don’t mind the “How tall are you?” one. The one that gets me is “What is it like to be tall?” There is no good answer to that. Yes, I was 5′ tall once but I was in 3rd grade and everyone else was 4′ tall so I was still tall. Do these people go to the Special Olympics and ask “Whats it like not being able to spell?”
Poorly speced bikes. Do bike companies spec the same width bars on a 49cm frame as a 60cm frame? Hell no! Then why do they use the same cranks? Every single bike I have ever purchased I have to buy new cranks for because the pin heads who spec the bikes use the same 175 cranks on every bike. I think these are the left over short engineers that could not get jobs at Boeing. Anyone who rides a frame larger than a 60cm should be on 180’s. Plain and simple. Product managers need to wake up. If they are trying to sell a $4000 performance bike it needs to have the best most funtional parts. It would be like Ferrari specing the Enzo with bench seats.
Maybe we should start a company and make stuff for the opposite ends of the spectrum. Still a bit sick but I am planning on going to race in Poci, besides gotta stock up on lottery tickets.
