Retail Hell
Last week I am at the widget store selling widgets to the mouth breathing masses. This lady comes in and asks me how much for this widget. The conversation goes like this.
“Hi, how much for this widget?” apparently the big sign that say $799 is invisible.
“Well that one is $799 today.”
“Oh I have this coupon for 10% off” she says and hands me the coupon
I look it over and see it expired in September of 2005 and say ” I am sorry this coupon expired 13 months ago, I will not be able to honor that.”
“What do you mean?” she asks indignantly
“Well I say (resisting the urge to stab her in the neck with my pen) when we issue coupons they are only good for a certain amount of time. In this case had you come in anytime before September 30, 2005 we would have been happy to give you 10% off this item.”
Confused look. “So what are you saying?”
With visions of dragging her to the door by her hair I reply “What I am saying is that I will not be able to give you the discount on this widget.”
“So how much is this widget then?”
“$799″
“So how much with the coupon”
“With that coupon it is $849″
“What? Why is it more now?”
“Disposal fee”
“Disposal of what?”
“Your worthless coupon”
“Can I talk to a manager?”
Damn I wish I had a trust fund….
