Kick Ass
I feel much better today. Throat is a little scratchy but well on the way to recovery, fever gone. I am pretty sure I will get the green light tomorrow and be able to go to my Mom’s side. I did get to see her today. She goes for a walk everyday outside so I am able to do that with her. My sister inlaw and nephew came along as well. She can only walk for about 10 minutes before she is wiped out but she still does it. Like I said she is as tough as they come. It was cool to see my nephew Devin. He will be 2 next month and it is unreal how much he has changed since I saw him last December. I know everyone thinks that their kids are miracles but if you knew the history of my brother you would agree that this kid really is. My brother was heading down a really nasty road dead end road but he did turn it around and has made us all proud. Devin is the living, breathing, toe headed example of that.
I write this blog for me. It is good for me to vent some steam and tell some funny stories. I publish thes stories online because if I just kept a private journal then that is really not getting any thing off my chest. The fact that people read it is just gravy really. The e-mails and comments that I get from people with good wishes or from people who have dealt with similar things really inspire me to keep writing, but still it is really just for me. I know my luck is not any worse than anyone elses, in fact I would say that it is better than most. Yeah this last year has had it’s share of frustration but as I said yesterday it has also had a lot of positives. (aside from my Mom’s health which is a huge negative) I have been to some great places and more importantly I have met some really great people that I know will be in my life for a very long time. I have also gotten to know some people that I have known for some time now a lot better, so yeah I have a lot to be happy about. This year I have really come to realize how much I depend on my friends for support. I am not immune to self doubt, pity parties, depression. For the most part I internalize that stuff and for the most part I think I am a confident positive person. Except when I am around people whose opinions matter to me and that I trust. They get the brunt of it all. This blog is sometimes an outlet for that but in the end I do tend to dump that baggage on the people that are close to me. To those who have heard me whining in person, thank you for being there.
