Are you f***ing kidding me?
So in a vain attempt to recapture my youth I logged onto Ebay to look for my favorite toy of all time, The Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle.
With visions of jaw dropping wheelies and death defying jumps I tracked my new prize on its journey from Tennessee. My timing what it is I had to wait an additional day due to MLK Day, no worries though it would be waiting for me today after a long day of retail hell. At lunch today I got online to see that DHL had left the package on my front porch. YESS! I get home and run to the front door to tear into my plastic likeness of a true American hero to see the porch empty. No prob my tenant always picks up my packages so I knock on her door. Nope she got home at 1pm (according to the DHL website the package was left at 11:43am) and there was nothing there. My knees got weak. Some no talent, mouth breathing, crack smoking, mother did a bad job raising, no friend having, ass clown was walking by my house probably on his way to sell plasma or steal his mothers welfare check, sees MY Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle on MY porch and thinks. “Hey today is a good day to commit mail fraud” and walks off with my package. Douche Bag. So now in addition to worrying when the next living example of what happens when people who are not capable of raising a decent human being dont have mandatory abortions decides he needs to steal the tools I make my living with, I now have to worry about receiving fucking mail.
