Wake Up, Kick Ass, Repeat
More like Tour de Boregia. For all but 13 racers yerterday there was a parade in Georgia. The 13 men (among them the 801’s own Jeff Louder) who actually raced their bikes yesterday finished 29 minutes in front of the lazy ass field, yawn. No wonder bike racing can’t compete with the NASCAR mentality of the American “sports” fan. Maybe today they should give them a head start and send these boys after ‘em with the ‘coon hounds. 
I helped time a triathalon this morning. What a comedy show. If you thought bike racers were a bunch of overly serious geeks go to a tri. Take three fringe sports and all the neurotic aspects of them and combine them for a super combo of self involved, delusional, whining. If Woody Allen were an athlete he would do triathalons. “Oh the timing chip will create drag in the water….” Said in the most annoying nasally voice. Clowns.
After the race I addressed my own neurotic tendencies and did some climbing. I was heading up Emmigraton as the Porc guts were coming down. I can only imagine the fun those guys just finished. If I didn’t work the gay tri I would have been there… Anyway, I felt great on Big Mt. When I am fit I can keep my pace about 10mph on the steep bits so I figured today since I was on the ‘cross bike with Armadillo’s (20.5lbs vs. 18 for my road bike) I would have a rough time with that goal. Well I guess I am in better shape than I thought cuz I kept the pace and then some. Sweet. After Big Mt. I went up Parleys and then back down Emmigraton. At the bottom of Emmigration I was still feeling pretty saucy so I jumped on the Shoreline. It was pretty sweet passing all the MTB guys on road wheels and watching them do a double take. The best was when I rode the switchback at the top of Dry Creek past a group of guys pushing their bikes. Yaa.
I spent the afternoon working in my yard and washing my car. My new neighbors were having a BBQ and kept giving me beer. This was good and bad. Free beer is always good. The bad? I was supposed to go to another BBQ in Bountiful but soon came to the conclusion that I probably should not drive. (sorry Rick and Leslie) So that night I rode down to the Step it Up rally at Washington Square. It was a rally to get congress to reduce carbon emissions by 80% by 2050. OK sounds good to me. Plus Los Lobos is playing for free. You would think there would be lots of people on bikes at a rally to reduce carbon right? Well this is the 801 and people here are pretty dumb and lazy. The irony of a crowd of people (of which probably 95% drove) chanting “Step it up, Step it up” was insane. Yeah, save us congress, tell us what to do, more government! I am sure they all felt so righteous driving home that night. I did get a sweet picture of me with Rocky that I will post tonight and yeah Los Lobos did bring it.
According to CNN Logan is the #3 spot in the US of A to retire young. Um ok. Me, I am trying to figure how much I need to buy some land in Panama or Uruguay to set up a compound. Run to the jungle baby. No boats, no lights, no motor cars… yeah sound pretty good to me. I have a job I don’t really like, a bunch of stuff I don’t really need, no real reason to keep up appearances. Might as well cash it all in and simplify. Wow what a dream, me and the monkees building sweet single track in the jungle.
The no phone experiment. Well I did turn it on and return a few calls yesterday. Today I am back at work and I left it at home. Assuming I got any calls I will check messages tonight when I get home. Not really sure why I am doing this since the 2 people who I ticked off wont be calling anyway, the damage is done I can’t take back what I said and did, but if they did call I would gladly talk to them. Logical huh? If nothing else checking my messages gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day. Oh yeah The Office is on tonight too, yaaaaa.
A band, a metal band even from France that not only does not suck they actually bring the rock! Gojira, go figure. “The” Tour still sucks.
I really have nothing interesting to say so I am posting one of those dumb ass MySpace surveys.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yeah, pretty much everyone alive had a name the day I was born
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I spilt some milk the other day….
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
Yeah, no one can read it.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
nope
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably, I am easily manipulated.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
no never
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Probably not. Not because it is scary, but because it is gay like rollerblading.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Count Chocula
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
if they require it
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
I can bench the bar without a spotter.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Bryers Mint Chocolate Chip
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Are they packing heat?
15. RED OR PINK?
black
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My bank account. They say money can’t buy happiness but it can buy hookers.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
No comment
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
N/A
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Gray Dickies, flip flops
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
eggs, hash browns
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Minor Threat
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Black
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
desperation
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
not using my phone for a while, see previous post
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
N/A
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
I don’t really watch sports, i would rather participate. Even bike races are pretty boring on TV
27. HAIR COLOR?
yes? WTF?
28. EYE COLOR?
this is gay
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
why?
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
free
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings? are we talking movies or massages?
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
300
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
black
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
as what?
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
the hugs i get come with “the pat” and kissing me seems to be a regretable and forgetable experience
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Peppermint Patties
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
n/a
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Everyone else on my list
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
“Doubtful Guest” By Edward Gorey
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
what a dumb question
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
Nothing
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
the cleaving of skulls
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Fu Manchu
44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
I am usually pretty far from reality.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
amazing abilty to inspire mild indifference
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
earth I think
It is weird how at work I talk all day on the phone but don’t really say anything or really talk to anyone. Same thing when I get home because there is no one to say anything to. So basically I sometimes go days without really talking to anyone. Recently the people I do actually talk to I just piss off so I think I will just turn off the cell for a few days. Maybe text, at least then I don’t just blurt out the first thing that pops in my head. Then again the text “conversaton” I had last night ended with someone being very angry with me. My report card right now would say “Does not play well with others, poor social skills”
“Yes, I know I gotta get over it. I’ll have to get some drinks tonight. Tomorrow, it won’t be forgotten, but tomorrow, we’ll look to the future again.”
Leif Hoste after finishing 2nd for the 3rd time at Tour of Flanders
Yeah I know the feeling. I am well aware no one remembers or cares who got 2nd.
Big ups to everyone who raced HOTN this weekend. No, I am not going to make fun of those who didn’t. I understand where you are coming from. I don’t like crits and tend to avoid them so I have little room to mock. I am a big believer in doing the races that are fun. None of us are getting paid to do this so why do races you hate? Other than not finishing I am happy with how the legs felt. Were they good enough for the win? We will never know. I do know that if I did pull it off I would have had a real battle, McCone is a horse right now.
Looks like Tommy Boy has some competition in the buy my useless junk auction. She might have the edge as her life includes a Village People album. Yaaaa.
If you like your country twangy you should head up to Suede in PC on Tuesday to see Jesse Dayton. Since Tuesday is my Saturday I will be there for sure. If you are one of those people who says “I like all music except country”, pull you head out. The country they play on the radio is just bubble gum pop with cowboy hats. It is a product spoon feed to the mewling, mouth breathing masses. If that is your idea of country then yeah you should hate it, but that aint country. Real country is as heavy and powerful as any Slayer song, believe it.
I am always amazed at how certain aspects of my life are so predictable and consistant. Feeling great in the break, 87.9% of the time I will flat. Saying or doing the wrong thing to people I care about, 97.3%. Home on a Friday/Saturday night, 84.6%. Pants that are too short, 87.2%. Pieces of mail that spell my street address right, 3.5%. Women I like(d) in the past 9 years who “just want to be friends”, 100%
