Art O’Connor

So I now have driven more miles in my rental car then the new Subaru  which i have made my first payment on but have not yet put gas in.  It seems one of the parts needed to fix my car got caught on the wrong side of the I-80 closure in Wyoming.  Maybe today.  So if you are a 16 year old girl (or boy for that matter) your decision making skills are questionable at best. (somebody is buying those Justin Timberlake cd’s) So why add talking on a cell phone to the driving mix?  That is like a palsy victim deciding that building ships in a bottle would be a good hobby.  I dont expect everyone to be a genius, but at least be smart enough to know your limitations.

Mom is heading to the 801 for a few days.  On Tuesday we will be loading a car(hopefully MY car) and heading out of town. Where?  Not sure.  To me it does not really matter I am just happy to have her in town.

Anyone know if RMR is dry?

My new work schedule is dumb.  I work Sunday, Monday, Thursday Friday.  That means my “weekend” is Tuesday, Wednesday.  Nice. I guess it could be a good thing as I will no longer be going out on the weekends when everyone I know goes out and I go along just to have something to do.  I usually ride by myself, so that makes no difference.  Not dating anyone so impact there.  I guess really it has no effect on my life when it gets right down to it.

Tuesday I did get in some good times on The Shoreline before the rain/snow hit.  Yesterday I was looking at a trainer ride or being a man and going out on the road.  I went out.  2.5 hours later I am soaked to the bone and on the verge of hypothermia.   Suprisingly I did not see another cyclist on the road.  I guess that means I am a man, though not a smart man.  I hope RMR dry’s out cuz there is no way I am racing on the NECKCAR oval.  I guess most racing is going around in cricles just some are bigger than others.  The size of the circle is directly proportional to the amount of fun.  Big circles=big fun.  Small circles=minimal fun.  Simple right?

Over at the Pro Doping Tour Eyetalian cry baby Alice Pettachi has taken his dolls and gone home from the Coppi e Bartoli (some Euro dope show) saying. “I have paid for the psychophysical stress of Sanremo,” noted the Milram rider to La Gazzetta dello Sport. “Maybe I have raced too much in the desire to recuperate. Now I am stopping.”  Psycophysical Stress? What a douche.  Freakshow Tom Boonan dealt with his “psychophysical stress” by man handling the field on some shit covered Belgian “roads”. 

Oh yeah, this guy has got game.  Too old, too tall, no money(maybe herders are rich in Inner Mongolia?), lives in a country where there are 2 guys for every girl.  No problem.   

Lots of good music in the 801 this week.  Agent Orange is playing at Burts tomorrow, Man Man at Kilby on Wed., and Killswitch Engage w/ Dragon Force at Saltair on Friday.  I will be at the first two for sure.  Still sitting the fence on Killswitch since I want to try and race RMR on Sat. after my no show this weekend.  So if I owe you money or you are a stalker you know where to find me this week.

Yesterday I woke up and had a decision to make.  Go ride around in circles for an hour knowing I am not that fit and have no sprint, or go rip the dirt.  Hmm, yeah kind of a no brainer there.  So I hit the Shoreline.  I think I rode every possible variation and spur, Rattlesnake Gulch, Pipeline, Agony Escalator, Bobsled (twice)… you get the idea.  Everyone and their (unleashed) dog was out, so no real ripping it on the DH. Not a problem since my skills are a bit rusty after a year off the MTB. I saw Eddie (the I See U Pee promoter) and the Peterson brothers at the top of Dry Creek.  I had a good grove going with The Legendary Shack Shakers on the iPod so I did not stop, there may have been some other people I know in that group but I was kind of self absorbed. 3.5 hours later I arrive home hungry and ready for a nap.

Since the neighborhood kids seemed to be having a screaming and crying contest my “nap” lasted all of 10 minutes.  I decided it would be a good day to go and shop for a gas grill so i jump in the rental truck and head out to do battle.  I really hate shopping for anything so I try to buy online whenever possible or at least have my homework done so I can go get exactly what I want in minimal time.  Not today.  I figure it’s a grill, it needs basically a grill and fire beneath it right?  Not quite.  I see a Weber that looks good but it is $100 more than the Charbroil that has more BTU’s and a bigger grilling area.  More BTU’s is better right?  Looks like I have some homework to do afterall.  Plus, when did they stop making black grills?  I don’t want a stainless steel grill that I have to clean every day. 

If you are a metal fan and you were not at Club Vegas last night you missed out.  Mastodon was in town and damn!  Those cats are laying down some heavy shit.  As far as musicianship these guys are on par with Lamb of God.  Where the hell do people learn to play like that?

A lot of people I know are going or already gone somewhere right now.  Tommy Boy is gonna do the Rim Ride with 2 bottles(must be getting soft), The Olympian is in Napa running big miles, chewing gum and tasting wine, MJ is going to SoBe, Lip Ring is playin (with?) cowboys in Tex-ass.  That leaves me with no one to ride mountain bikes with.  Slohran is around but he is a little gun shy after the whoopin on the Shoreline the other day.  Clarkie got a road bike, but I can’t ride with him until he ditches the baggies and Camelback. I need to get the skills back, especially after the clinic Tommy Boy gave me the other day.  Oh well, it could be worse, I could be really OTB like Slohran.

I still have not ordered any parts for the road frame so I guess I will be lining up at the RMR on the Kona complete with Stan’s filled Armadillo’s.  Last year I actually started to enjoy racing out there and I am looking forward turning the pedals in anger again, heavy wheels and all.  We get our new SBO stuff this week.  I guess there is some kind of problem with the shorts.  I don’t care about that as long as my trailer is stocked with Evian, and fresh white roses.  Oh, and I better not find any brown M&M’s.

Speaking of scattered, anyone see Rocky on O’reilly last night?  Why?

Last weekend was awesome.  2 days of kick ass weather and ATV riding in the desert with my Dad. Living so far from home I don’t get to see my family much and I am sure they think I am avoiding them, but that is not the case at all.  I never imagined staying in the 801 after college but 23 years later here I am.  Anyway, my Dad and I did a trip to Yellowstone a few years back on snowmobiles that was great and pretty much set the high water mark for trips with my Dad.  I was not expecting much from this trip.  Spending time with Dad is alwyas good, especially when my life is in order and he doesn’t have much to worry about.(other than my inability to get a girlfriend, I think he has lost all hope on that anyway) The idea of riding ATV’s on trails that I shred on a bike though sounded pretty dull though.  Man was I wrong.  Say what you want about motor sports but there is a reason they are so popular.  It would be nice if my Dad were fit and able to get out and ride a bike but he is not.  An ATV is a way for him to get out and really see some incredible country away from the paved roads and the comfort of a car.  It was so cool to be able to share the land and experiences that have defined my life for the last 20 years with my Dad.  Until now I dont think he really understood why I would spend so much time pedaling a mountainbike in the middle of nowhere.  As a kid my parents took us out camping on the lake we lived on almost every weekend in the summer.  My Dad is a big time hunter and to a lesser extent a fisherman.  While the fishing bug did take hold I never liked hunting.  The point is both my parents gave me an appreciation of the outdoors and I think now my Dad and I both get the point that the it does not matter how you enjoy it just get your ass out the door and do it.  This summer while I am ripping sweet Wasatch single track on the Scalpel my Dad will be exploring the back country of Maine on a Yamaha.  The thing we will share is the ETFE (ear to fucking ear) grin.

Speaking of shredding.  I got my ass kicked pretty good by Tommy Boy last night.  We hit the Shoreline with Slohran and it was game on.  On Dry Creek we passed tons of people climbing in their granny gear.  Tommy Boy passed a group near the top and i got stuck for a while.  After I passed them I pinned in to get back on his wheel.  I was dangling a few seconds back when we hit the wall.  TB caught 2 dudes at the base and I settled in to a good climbing rythm and was staring at my stem.  About halkway up I look up and see TB going berzerk and the 2 dudes (who I later found out were on single speeds) are panicking tryin to follow.  I stayed on my pace and cuaght one of them near the top and was content to follow.  As soon as I catch this guy he tries to attack.  Hmm an attack by a one speed, I see an easy way out of this and shift.  Nice try lunk head.  TB is gone and I follow one speed guy on the DH for a while before passing him and leaving him for dead.  Neve did see Tommy Boy or Slohran again.  Yaaa.

As I mentioned last week I got a new car, the first new car I have ever owned.  I have never really been much of a car guy, as long as they get me from point A to point B I am happy.  Having said that I really like the Outback.  It is fun to drive, is good on gas, and has plenty of head room. Nice car.  So I am heading down Wasatch with my Dad in the passenger seat when this 17 year old girl talking on a cell phone decides that she needs to make a U-turn NOW.  I swerve to miss the airhead and she slams the rear quarter panel of my brand new, have not even filled the tank yet car. FUCK!  The rear wheel is toast as is the rear quarter panel.  Most likely the axle is bent as well.  I am so excited to get to deal with the insurance company that I can hardly stand it.

So on the racing issue.  Still sitting the fence on Masters or not.  I dont see masters as a step down in any way.  On the road with all the “I can’t chase I have 3 guys in the break not working” and “I can’t work I have 11 teammates not chasing in the group” shit that goes on in the 1-2 field.  Masters races are usually harder.  On the MTB side the extra 30-60 minutes that the Pro’s race is the deciding factor for me. In the dirt it is a big difference. Besides I am 40 years old and I do have a full time job…. I don’t know.

Well the weather guessers got it wrong today. Where the hell are my 60’s? I wish I had a job where I could be wrong most of the time and still get paid. Oh the possibilities. Slohran says it is 70 in Fruita, he and Tommy Boy are ripping the singletrack and eating bad Mexican. Anyway I did make it out for a ride and ran into Flynn, The Body et all. It was good to get caught up with everyone. Good times.

Lots of good music coming to the 801 in the next few weeks. Clutch, Galactic, WOLFMOTHER!, Celtic Frost(winner of the prestigious 2006 A-Train Album of the Year), Dimmu Borgir, Dragon Force, Killswitch Engage. Rock on.

Ass Clown

This weather kicks ass.  I managed to ride a few times this week on the new Scalpel, yeah that is good.  Also got me some new wheels of the internal combustion kind.  The Matrix was starting to have weird problems that the dealer could not seem to figure out so I got into a new Outback like pretty much every other hipster, REI member dufus.  I need to put an NRA sticker on it so I don’t try and get in the wrong one when I park.

What the hell is going on with Paris Nice?  Stupid French.  I really hope they cancel “The Tour”.  Next week my Dad is coming out and we are heading down to Moab for a weekend of ATV’s, steak and gunpowder.  It will be weird going down there and not riding, but it should be fun making some hikers/bikers breath some exhaust.