Art O’Connor

Hopefully everyone is having a good Halloween/Samhain.  Samhain is one the Celtic 4 seasons, Samhain (winter), Imbolc (spring), Beltane (summer) and Lughnasadh (fall).  The Celtic year began with Samhain or Nov 1, it was also the final hrvest of the year.  As such it was  one of the principal festivals of the Celtic year.

Fire was a big part of the Samhain celebration.  Villagers would gather and throw cattle bones on the fire(some say the word bonfire is derived from these bone fires).  All other fires in the vilage were extinguished while the bonfires burned.  Families then would light their own hearths from the common flame bonding the familes and village.

Samhain was considered a magic time of year.  On Samhain Eve (Oct 31) it was believed the barrier seperating the human and spirit world was lowered.  Spirits of the dead and those yet to be born walked among the living.  The dead could return to places that they had lived and would be welcomed with food and drink.  This was a way for the tribes to connect with the past present and future at the same time.  Death was not considered a tragic event in Celtic culture.  The aim of all Celtic people was to die an honorable death, live forever in the memory of the tribe and be honored by a great feast on Samhain Eve.

Christains would later subvert Samhain to honor the saints.  All Saints Day (Nov 1) and All Hallows Eve (Oct 31) which would eventually be called Halloween.  Now like everything that actually had some meaning at one point it has been commercialized beyond all recognition.  Happy Samhain.

This morning I got a massage from Rachael and feel like a new man.  It is amazing how deep such a little girl can go. If I was rich I would have her on retainer 24/7. 

Picked up some new skins for the ‘yota so I should be all safe and what not for the drive to Boulder this weekend.  Hopefully Ali had a good turnout last night.  Fox must have gotten waxed.  I can tell ‘cuz when he does well, he sends a text saying “Yaaaa” after he finishes.  So far nothing.

Last night I went out on the town with Macy, Clark, and the RocK Star and some of her friends.  We hit a few spots, drank some cocktails and danced like spaz’s.  Macy and Rock Star were rockin’ sexy pirate and Tinkerbell costumes.  I was a baller (seemed like a natural since most people ask me if I play hoops when they meet me anyway) and Clark was Clark.  Halloween kicks ass.  This one was better than last years hurricane infested train wreck.  I put up a few pics form last night in the gallery and there is also an album from my trip back east as well.

Since I can’t race Ali G’s race (work)I put on the iPod and hit the road solo today.  I swear my iPod knows what I am thinking sometimes.  On interval days I will play specific album like SoundGarden “Louder than Love” or Zeke “Dirty Sanchez”.  On long road rides I use the Forrest Gump setting (you never know what you will get).  Today it was just playing the perfect mix.  Lots of dub, Tom Waits, The Clash, some Skynyrd (no Freebird), The Black Keys, Jesse Dayton.  It was perfect.  The punk/metal is great for short hard rides but on the long easy days I need something a little slower. Yup good stuff.

Train Out

Ever since the Starcrossed race I have had this sciatica that has been making my right leg numb, as a result I have felt like I am pedaling with one leg since.  On Wed. I went to the go cart track with Indohran, Kwait, The Wookie and Keating.  After the warm up laps they stage us on the start.  I pull up and stop, next thing I know this kid slams me from behiind at full speed.  My neck snapped back like a rag doll and it was Train down.  I could barely walk, I was thinking my cross season was done for sure.  The next morning I wake up and my neck it pretty stiff but my sciatica is gone.  Score, a free chiropractic adjustment at the go cart track.  Who knew?

Today we raced at the RMR.  I have not raced there yet and did not know what to expect.  I knew DrX was setting the course so that would rock.  After being on antibiotics for the previous week I was not sure how I would go, but I felt good riding this week and my warm up felt good.  Bart and Ali went off the front and were just killing it.  I settled into a group with Sager, Bryson, and Thomas.  I was loving the course and doing my best to keep it rolling.  There were parts that I was a little slow on and parts that I was a little faster on.  Sager was like Rocky Balboa today, just when you think he was down for the count he would claw his way back.  At the end it was down to Sager, Thomas and I battling for 2nd (Bart was long gone).  I had a sweet move that I had been saving for the last lap or two and the legs felt good.  Unfortunatly I kind of bobbled the off camber section and I was not in a position to use it.  Sager was 2nd, Thomas got 3rd and I rolled across for 4th.  I feel good about my ride today.  Hopefully it is not a fluke, but I feel like my form is pretty good.  Just a matter of staying healthy now.  Speaking of form you may have noticed that I mentioned Indohran instead of Slohran.  Thats right, there was a confirmed Indohran sighting today.  After years of unconfirmed sightings he managed to pull of an impressive 2nd place in the single speed race.  Maybe we should have a telethon to raise money so he can buy gears.  It was also good to see DrX back in the mix.  After what he has been through just lining up on the start line is a major victory.  Once he gets some miles in, he will be crushing again.   All in all what a great day.  Perfect blue bird weather, Gardie and Sandy pumping the crowd(I should pay those guys for all the good press they give me), and a great course.  For those who skipped this race you really missed out (Rock Star?!).

Rock On

Many of the indigenous cultures of Central and South America believe in “The Prophecy of the Condor and Eagle”.  The wording differs from culture to culture but the basic premise is this.  That we are entering a New Age.  It says that long ago human society took two different paths; the Condor (representing heart, intuition and mysticism) and the Eagle (representing the brain, rational and material).  The two paths would converge and the Eagle would drive the Condor to the brink of extinction.  Then a new era would begin, the Condor and Eagle would have the opportunity to reunite and fly the same sky.  If the Condor and Eagle accept the opportunity they would create an amazing offspring that has never been seen before.  A combination of indigenous knowledge and technology, a perfect balance.  We, as a species would evolve into a new level of consciousness.  Pretty heady stuff to be sure.

I think this is also possible on a personal level as well.  Most of us are Eagles most of the time, choosing to neglect the Condor.  Sometimes something will shock us into embracing the Condor.  An near death experience, illness either personally or to someone close, falling in love, it could be anything.  The point is try to find the balance.  The tagline on this page says “Listen to the voices in your head”.  I know that if I would follow my “gut” or intuition more I would be much better off.  I hope I can have the strength to follow my intuition more and not overthink everything.

I got my sweet State Championship ring in the mail.  I need to hook up with Turbo so we can bring da bling. Holla.

Today I went deep, old school Research Park intervals in the snow and a few hot laps at the park we are not allowed to have cross practice at.  Back in the day when the weekly world cup was at the International Center and on Thursday, Research Park was the place to be on Tuesdays.  I used to do intervals there on my MTB before I even owned a road bike.  Steve Johnson, Scott Lung, Andy Brewer and all the other big guns of that era would be there putting out the watts. I previouslly had never imagined I could hurt myself so bad on purpose, yet there was a component of joy there as well.  I have vivid memories of riding so hard I would boot and lay in the median comatose.  Good times for sure.  Hard to believe this is my 18th season racing my bike. Smiling for sure.

Stoked to race at RMR this weekend.  I am sure DrX has put together a sweet course.  A week of antibiotics has not done much for my fitness but I felt good today should be able to put out some watts on Saturday.  Word is KK has a sweet Ridley that has so far not seen any race action this year.  Maybe this weekend?

Yes I am still here.  More importantly my Mom is still here.  Sorry for the lack of updates.  Still trying to process the last week.  I hope everyone is well and going full on into whatever makes your soul smile.

Rock On

I feel much better today.  Throat is a little scratchy but well on the way to recovery, fever gone.  I am pretty sure I will get the green light tomorrow and be able to go to my Mom’s side.  I did get to see her today.  She goes for a walk everyday outside  so I am able to do that with her.  My sister inlaw and nephew came along as well.  She can only walk for about 10 minutes before she is wiped out but she still does it.  Like I said she is as tough as they come. It was cool to see my nephew Devin.  He will be 2 next month and it is unreal how much he has changed since I saw him last December.  I know everyone thinks that their kids are miracles but if you knew the history of my brother you would agree that this kid really is.  My brother was heading down a really nasty road dead end road but he did turn it around and has made us all proud. Devin is the living, breathing, toe headed example of that.

I write this blog for me.  It is good for me to vent some steam and tell some funny stories. I publish thes stories online because if I just kept a private journal then that is really not getting any thing off my chest.  The fact that people read it is just gravy really.  The e-mails and comments that I get from people with good wishes or from people who have dealt with similar things really inspire me to keep writing, but still it is really just for me.  I know my luck is not any worse than anyone elses, in fact I would say that it is better than most.  Yeah this last year has had it’s share of frustration but as I said yesterday it has also had a lot of positives. (aside from my Mom’s health which is a huge negative) I have been to some great places and more importantly I have met some really great people that I know will be in my life for a very long time.  I have also gotten to know some people that I have known for some time now a lot better, so yeah I have a lot to be happy about. This year I have really come to realize how much I depend on my friends for support.  I am not immune to self doubt, pity parties, depression.  For the most part I internalize that stuff and for the most part I think I am a confident positive person.  Except when I am around people whose opinions matter to me and that I trust.  They get the brunt of it all.  This blog is sometimes an outlet for that but in the end I do tend to dump that baggage on the people that are close to me.  To those who have heard me whining in person, thank you for being there. 

The last 12 months have been pretty up and down for me.  Pretty much nothing I have planned on or worked for has panned out.  On the other hand there have also been some really great things that have happened and for the most part they have been last minute opportunities that have come up and worked out great.  Since about June I have known that I would need to come to Maine to take care of my Mom.  No problem, happy to do it.  The only thing required of me is that I not be sick.  No problem, I can’t remember the last time I was sick.   Basically as a result of the chemo and bone marrow transplant she has no immune system at the moment.  Literally a common cold could kill her.  I arrived last night feeling just fine (other than some sore legs).  Luckily she was still awake when I arrived so I got to see and talk to her a bit.  She looks better than I expected but she is very weak.  I was very happy to see her and be here.  I was looking forward to spending time with her, playing Scrabble, watching movies, or just talking.  I wake up this morning and I have a little scratch in my throat.  No worries I think probably just a little dehydrated from the day before.  After I eat breakfast and drink some juice I will be fine.  Usually when I get sick it hits me all at once.  I can be fine and 15 minutes later I am wiped out.  That is what happened today. I have not been sick in a very long time.  Basically what this means is I can’t be around my Mom at all.  The doctor wrote me a script for some penicillian and says that if I fell better in 48 hours then I can go back in the house, if not it means I have a virus and might as well get back on a plane to Utah.  Fucking great.  The one time my Mom needs me and I am completely useless to everyone.  My tounge is coated, my throat is bright red and I have a fever.  I am in quarantine at my Dad’s house until we know whats up.  In the meantime my brother who was supposed to leave tomorrow is staying.  He is not amused. No one is.  I am so bummed right now I can’t even think.  The good news is that I usually feel better as quick as I get sick so I am hopeful.  Right now I would trade anything good that will ever happen to me again to get ride of this and be able to help my Mom.  Anyone looking to buy a soul? 

Some good news.  Wendy sent a care package with some kick ass Trader Joes soup, a box of Emergen C, and some Chariman Meow shirts and pins that arrived today.  My Mom called me to say it was some of the best soup she ever tasted.  Thanks Wendy!  I am truely blessed to have such awesome friends.  You all rock!