Art O’Connor

Tonight my pal The Tone Man (aka: Fireman Tony) is coming to town to see Floater.  It will be a rockin’ good time for sure.  Back in the day The Tone Man and I saw a lot of kick ass shows (Danzig, White Zombie, Kim Salmon, The Screaming Jets to name a few), but since he moved the family unit to Rock Bottom I think this will be the first one in like 10 years. Shit, where does the time go?

I got no takers on the trip to Seattle/Portland so am I going solo.  Flying low under the radar just like Nam.

The Bugle sounds and the charge begins
But on this battlefield no one wins
The smell of acrid smoke and horses breath
As I plunge on into certain death.
-Iron Maiden 

Cross season is here, finally.  No more wheel sucking, crying (well hopefully not as much), attacking in the feed zone, blocking, etc.  Locally head up to Olympic Park and watch Bart Mang make it look easy.    Sly should be going well too, make sure you call him Sly.  Sly likes it when you call him Sly so when you see him say “Hi Sly, have a good race Sly, I will by yelling for you Sly”. Yaaa. Me, I am heading to Seattle and Portland to do some biz, get in some racing, and hang with El Gato, The Wolfe and Kelly.

I bought a new compressor today, don’t be hatin.

See ya in the funny papers.

I got this job in a piss factory inspecting pipe
Forty hours thirty-six dollars a week
But it’s a paycheck, Jack

-Patti Smith

On my lunch break writing this drivel.  It is a crime to be working on such a nice day but what are ya gonna do?  Yesterday I went to the Farmers Market.  Have not been to that in a while and after going I really can’t come up with a good reason for the absence.  Picked up a kick ass assortment of fruit for $3 which included Asian Pears, (Oh man, these things are unreal!), tasted some killer cheese and met Charlie the dog.  Good way to spend a Saturday morning.  Too bad I am going to be out of town next weekend. 

Last night I went to the Bayou to carb up and swing some stick.  Had a great time but oh man the level of play reached an all time low.  Abby beat me for the title of “Best of the Worst”.  I am pretty sure one dude hung himself after watching the horror unfold.  It was like watching Palsy victims thread a needle. After I went home, changed bikes and rallied some parking garages.  It was really nice out and since my insomnia is pulling double duty I figured some cool clean air would clear my head.

Sounds like Sly is going all P-Diddy and changing his name again.  Dude has more names than the Devil.  Yaaaa!

Yesterday I get a call from a new client, a big client that I have been courting for over a year now.  They have a job for me, finally.  So I get up at 4am to get the trailer prepped and drive to the job site.  I open the door and there is a lot more space than there should be, WTF?  The compressor, generator, tool box, propane tanks all gone.  Fucking unbelievable.  Nothing worse than a thief, especially one who steals your livelihood. 

My first summer in Utah I took a job as a laborer on a construction site.  It was a pretty shitty job and my work partners kept quitting because they were soft, until this one guy, lets call him Mullet Man.  He drove a sweet new Camaro and always had a wad of cash on him which was weird since we were both making about $7hr.  At that time there was a rash of tool thefts on the job site.  Someone was breaking into the job boxes after hours and walking away with thousands of $ in tools.  Tools that were putting food on families tables.  When this shit is going on they always look to the lowest paid guys (me and the other laborers) on the site as the culprit, to say the work conditions were tense was an understatement.  So one day I am about half way home when I realize I left my lunch box and house keys at work.  Great.  So I ride my bike back and I see Mullet Man taking bolt cutters out of the trunk of his bitchin Camaro.  I lay low and do a little Black Ops surveillance work and see him go straight to a job box and empty it.  Busted!  So the next day I get there early and tell the foreman what I saw.  He smiles and says he will take care of it.  Mullet Man shows up to work (late as usual) and I am ready for the shit storm.  Nothing.  The whole morning goes by and no one says or does anything.  At lunch we are all sitting around eating and BS’ing as usual when the foreman and the owner of the job box from yesterday come around the corner with a tarp.  Tarp goes over Mullet Man and the blanket party begins!  It is amazing how much punishment a human body can take.  I was sure they killed the guy.  After everyone got their shots in Mullet Man dragged his bloody mouth breathin ass to his Camaro (which now had no windows) and drove away.  To this day it was the most beautiful poetic justice I have ever seen.  No cops, no lawyers, just swift justice.  I only hope the same fate awaits the scum bag who lifted my stuff.

I don’t save I like to spend,

If you like Metal you’re my friend.

-Manowar

I am battling a bit of a tube curse at the moment.  Yesterday as I was riding out to the RMR to bitch slap Fox I pinched (at 130psi?!).  Normally not a bit deal right?  Well, I put on my Cosmics since the Reynolds are now on the cross bike.  The Comics have a deep rim so that means I should have grabbed a tube with a long stem, I didn’t.  So now I am sitting at a truck stop waiting for a ride.  Bummer.  Today in the 10 blocks between my house and the shop I flatted both tubes on the cross bike.  Oh well at least I was at the shop.  On the positive side I put on my sweet new Reynolds fork and got in a few hot laps at Sugarhouse Park.  That thing knocked a full pound off the Kelly, sweet.

Still sitting the fence on where to race next weekend. Here or Seattle?  I have always wanted to do El Gato’s race but damn that is a long way to go, I would get to race twice but still.  Then again there is a beer tent.  Hmm, who wants to drive to Seattle with me?

I made the Tuna Bomb tonight (with 3 kinds of cheese!).  The Tuna Bomb was a staple of my diet back in the day.  It used to drive my roommate nuts cuz it made the whole house smell like tuna.  Once I got a “real” job the Tuna Bomb kind of went into retirement as I gave up cooking and started eating out.  Well now that I am underemployed the Bomb is back and it is not bad.  I don’t miss my old job at all, quiting that cube farm was the best thing I ever did.  Yeah I have had to cut back on the rock and roll lifestyle a bit but that is just temporary.  Yeah business could be better, taking a part time job is not planned but it is what I need to do.  All I know is that am in a good place right now, but I know it can be better.  That is what keeps me going.

The other day at work I met another of my co workers.  We were chating in the break room and I introduced myself.  She told me her name is Rochelle.  I asked her which was more erotic, Milan or Minske.  The look of horror and confusion on her face was priceless.  She did not get the reference. (do you?)  I am so going to get fired from that place.

After lulling Laurie “Fats” into a false sense of security I unleashed my A game last night, 3 games to 1 she got owned.  In reality the level of play was pretty low.  It is the 1000 monkeys on a 1000 typewriters theory.  If we play long enough one of us will sink the 8 ball.  Regardless a win is a win so I get to run the smack until our next match.

Gigantour was great.  Every band there was awesome except Opeth.  Holy shit did they suck.  If a deaf person who had never heard a single note of music in their life had been given the gift of hearing and they heard Opeth I am sure they would be puncturing their ear drums with an ice pick.  Total shit. I swear Lamb of God gets better everytime I see them.  The level of musicianship in that band is so good.  I could have left after the LOG set and felt like I got my moneys worth… Thanks god I didn’t.  Megadeth killed.  Say what you want about Dave Mustaine but there is no doubt the guy has got mad game.  I saw these guys like 15 years ago and I had kind of forgot how good they can be. Long live Metal!

How about this weather?  I gotta admit I get a little excited when I have to pull out the long sleeve and knee warmers cuz it means cross season is here.  I rode around on Kelly for a few hours yesterday in the rain and cold with a shit eating grin on my face the whole time.  The countdown has begun.

Oh man I get to see Megadeth and Lamb of God tonight.  This will be the second time I have seen Lamb of God this year and I could not be happier.  A few weeks ago I was talking about all time great bands with 2 guitar players, well these guys will be on that list for sure.  Good luck to everyone doing the East Canyon Hillclimb tomorrow.  If there was day of registration I might do it but with the big show tonight I am not sure what time I will be getting to bed and I don’t want to commit to racing if I will not be at my best.  Since the show is at crappy USANA I know I won’t be drinking since I refuse to pay $8 for a freaking Coors Light, besides beer aint drinking.

Tomorrow I promised to fix the Rockstars brakes.  Later that afternoon I will be hitting the 9th and 9th Street Fair.  An old team mate of mine from college is in a band that is playing there and I have not really seen her since college so that should be fun.  Not a bad weekend at all.

Hopefully Sly will get a good nights sleep soon.  The text messages he sends at 3am are more than a little disturbing.  Clog your colon and sleep like the rest of us.

Where the hell is The Mop?  Did he move to Jackson Hole, Vegas perhaps?  Maybe El Chupacabra got him.