Art O’Connor

Just cancel the whole damn Tour it is a overblown piece of crap race anyway.  There are other races that are way more exciting.  Any spring classic, any ‘cross race, the Vuelta and the Giro to name a few.  While we are at it lets knock down the Statue of Liberty and send it back to France (along with some soap).  I am sure everyone on the list is a doper but until they get a positive drug test in hand I don’t see how they can be excluded.  I guess it is a case of being guilty until you are proven innocent. Maybe I will start watching NASCAR.

Well I just checked, no Powerball for me.  I guess I am back to trying to earn my fortune.  Speaking of that, the Texas trip that I have been threatening is still eluding me.  Basically here is the deal.  they have accepted the changes we have made to the contract and it is just a matter of getting all the district managers to sign the contract.  No big deal right?  Wrong.  There are no fewer than 29 people, in 22 states who have to sign this thing.  A huge cluster.  So the good news is that in theory we have a valid contract worth a lot of $$ over the next 3 years it is just a matter of waiting for the slow wheels of a Fortune 500 company to turn.  I have waited this long.

After all the big talk from the Sly one it ended rather quietly.  I was hoping we both would be off the front with me doing the full clown midget smack down (FCMSD) on the final lap.  Not quite.  I went solo for a few laps hoping to get some company only to see the entire field chasing me down.  Once they caught me the counter went and I was in no condition to chase.  Sly apparently was over stimulated after seeing the Pink Dude and was sitting on the side after about 20 minutes so I did crush him as expected but really did not have much of a ride to brag about either.  Maybe next time we will both bring our A game and I can put the red ass on for real.

Ride Safe

I have been racing the Tuesday Night World’s since 1989 and other than the 2 or 3 races I did in th B flight way back I have never ever scored a single point.  There are many reasons, no sprint, no fitness, no desire, no tactics.  The list could go on.  That all changed tonight.  After bridging up to the break I managed to get away with 2 other guys with a lap an a half to go.  The guy who won attacked while I was taking a drink and got a gap that I could not close.  My lack of a sprint netted me another 3rd (in a 3 man break) in less than a week and I am ecstatic.  Life is all about the small personal victories.  I can’t wait to throw Sly in the pain cave at the DMV.  He better bring two flashlights.

In the I told you so file El Pais has now released the details of Tyler “I swear on my dogs life I am not a doper” Hamiltons doping schedule.  What a complete tool.  I hope all the stupid sheep who believed his lying ass and gave money to his crock of a foundation are asking for refunds.  Even gay bait Richard Virenque eventually admitted he was a cheat.  As for Lance my feeling is they had their chance to catch him and they did not.  For a time he was probably the most tested athlete on the planet and he passed them all.  Let it go.  Love him or hate him the guy really does a lot of good with his foundation and gives hope to cancer patients (my Mom included) everywhere.  In the meantime lets focus on the clean riders like Dave Z and watch him crush the best riders in the world at the Tour.

If you are a fan of heavy music do yourself a favor and go get the new Celtic Frost cd “Monotheist” ASAP.  It has been 16 years between albums for these guys and if it took them this long to write and record this album then it was time well spent.  This may be their best yet and that is saying a lot as “Morbid Tales” is considered to be one of the most influential metal albums of all time.  It would be fun to slip this on in the middle of some DJ’s “show” and watch the metrosexual (ie gay and have not admitted it yet) men and vapid women wince in horror as they realize how trite and meaningless their entire lives have been up to this point. 

Ride Safe

Tomorrow my Mom goes to Boston to meet with her new oncologist Dr. David C Fisher.  Turns out this guy is one of the most famous doctors in the world and is on faculty at Harvard Medical School in the same department that super science babe, master cat toy fabricator, and Dr. of Mixology Wendy Chao is doing her PHD work in.  In fact Wendy will be meeting my Mom at the airport and escorting her to The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for her meeting. I am so lucky to have Wendy in my life, thank you so much for being my friend.  It makes me feel so good knowing my Mom will be so well cared for on this visit.  (hopefully Mom will keep the embarassing childhood stories to a minimum) I also want to thank everyone who has left comments and sent me e-mails concerning my Mom.  My Mom is really touched that so many people whom she has never even met are pulling for her. I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate it as well.  Not to get all New Age here but I really think that all the good energy being sent her way is making a big difference. 

Ride Safe

113 miles ridden (101 on Sat.  12 today to do the shuttle)

30+ fat South Fork trout caught (ok and a few whitefish)

20+ number of times I looked to make sure I was in my 23 going up Guardsman

6 guys on MTB’s passed on the dirt section of Guardsman

5 canyons ridden

4 burritos eaten (3 Beto’s, 1 Red Iguana)

4 moose spotted on South Fork

3 PBR tall boys at The Jackalope

1 mink spotted on South Fork

1 Bald Eagle spotted on South Fork

1 Powerball ticket purchased (if I win I am going to have Carl Hiaasen ghost write my blog)

0 hours slept last night

Hightlights so far.

Mon: Hank III

Wed: Used my glacier like sprint to get 3rd (3rd in a 3 man break) at the DMV

Thu: Great day fishing on Thistle Creek (thanks T-Bird) and the Supersuckers tonight.

Yup, not bad at all.

The other day on one of my rides I was thinking about my weird music collection on my iPod and the strange transitions between artists.  On that ride I decided that the strangest one of the day was Don Ho “Tiny Bubbles” to Goatwhore “Invert the virgin”.  A leap to be sure.  Jumping from one band or genre to the other really isn’t that unusual if you have a broad taste in music.  What I really like is bands that can change their sound at the drop of a hat.  Bad Brains, The Clash, The Supersuckers for example can pull it off with ease and in my mind have really set the bar pretty high, with Metallica, and Red Hot Chili Peppers being the low mark. Well last night I saw the bar get raised even higher.  Hank Williams III (Hank III)was in town last night and really put on one hell of a show.  I was kind of sitting on the fence on this show until I got an e-mail from T-Bird. Kelly, Christine, and Skyler rounded out the crew and it was game on for sure.  I have seen him before with Superjoint Ritual which is a very heavy sound, too heavy for most mortals.  You know when your name is Hank Williams you better be able to play country and play he did.  The first set was all country.  While it was not exactly the high lonesome sound of his grandfather is was some kick ass twangy stuff that was perfect.  Then the show got a little harder.  At first it was more psychobilly then it progresed to a full blown mosh pit punk show.  T-Bird had some sweet moves in the pit.  The singer for the punk portion was nuts.  He kept hitting himself in the head with the mic and had blood all over his face. I got some pretty cool pics that will soon be in the Concerts you Missed album.  So Hank III is pretty much the man in my book.  Great country transitioning into great punk.  I guess that it is not really much of a stretch when you consider country is the original DIY punk.  I wonder what kind of crap Sly is listening too right now?

Ride Safe

Tomorrow is the Kamas to Evanston race my favorite existing race(now that Eureka has been pissed away) and I am not doing it.  Sucks because I have great form right now. It really comes down to not being able to find anyone to feed me and drive to Evanston so I can get a ride back to my car.  It is a pretty tough sale.  Get up early on a Saturday, stand on the side of the road for a few hours and then wait in scenic (not) Evanston for the race to finish.  No takers this year.  Gotta say I am losing motivation pretty quick right now.  Over 4000 miles so far since March and probably 3500 of those have been solo.  That is a lot of time to be out there in my head.  Lots of weird stuff going on in there.  Plus what the hell am I riding so much for if I am not going to race.  Hopefully I will leave for Texas soon and get a fresh perspective on things, I could really use it.

Ride Safe

Anyone who tells you they are smart, funny, attractive, rich, thoughtful…. is not.
I am smart, smart, funny, attractive, rich, thoughtful….
The self check line is the most accurate IQ test ever devised.
You can win and lose at the same time.
There are shortcuts, take them.
Anyone who tells you they like all music except country(or classical, whatever) is a tool. What they are really saying is they are spoon fed their musical “taste” by MTV and commercial radio and are incapable of thinking for themselves.
No one can make you feel guilty, if you feel guilty you are.
Peppermint Patties are the perfect candy.
I believe in the good in people, usually get burned for it but I will keep on believing.
Sock with sandals, just don’t. Ever.
I like women who don’t like me.
Assos chamois crème saves a lot of misery.
Don’t tell T$ he can’t do something unless you like being proven wrong.
The new Tool album sucks just like the last one. They have peaked.
Ride to ride good, drive to ride bad.
I would rather eat at the taco cart in the Sears parking lot than Tuscany (a local foo foo Italian place that is marginally better than Olive Garden)
Don’t trust vegans.
Beer is better for you than soda.
DJ’s are the musical equivalent of mimes.

To be continued….

A week ago Sunday (or as they say in Utah Sundee) I lost my debit card. After retracing my steps I called the automated phone hell and cancelled the card. To backtrack a bit I had my identitiy stolen last year to the tune of a solid five figures(pretty much my entire can collecting career). I did get it back after jumping thorugh major hoops to prove that I was indeed me. Anyway Citibank enrolled me in this free fraud protection program that basically makes it impossible to open andy new lines of credit without me using my secret decoder ring so to speak. On Tuesday I get a call form Citibank telling me somone tried to use my lost card to buy a plasma TV at Best Buy but since I pushed the wrong button while navigating the automated phone hell and only cancelled the card instead of reporting it missing, the person pretending to be me was not detained. Oh well at least they card is not working. end of story. Or so I think. Today (about 10 minutes ago) Citibank calls to tell me that in the last 24 hours someone had posted my name and credit card # on a message board in freaking Russia and that literally hundreds of new lines of credit had been applied for. Holy freaking shit! They tell me they don’t think they have my SSN at this point but that I should remove it from any of my financial accounts. Already did that last time. So I guess the good news is the fraud proteection group in coidination with the credit agencies are actually doing a good job . The funny thing is there are a bunch of commie bastards out there trying to be me (Oh man if they only knew…). So if you work in retail and someone comes in with a credit card bearing my name that is not freakishly tall and constantly cursing under their breath it is probably not me. To be sure just ask them who their favorite NFL team is. If they answer anything other than “those guys are fags” crack their skull cuz the real A-Train aint got time for that weak shoulder pad wearing grab assin’.

Ride Safe