Art O’Connor

I have spent a fair amount of time traveling to the south this year.  As a result I have learned some things about Dixie and the people down there.  Being the helpful person I am I have decided to share some tips for communicating with the locals.  As an educated Yankee it is surprisingly easy to say things to offend our Southern brethren so I have compiled a short list of things to not say while traveling south of the Mason Dixon.

-    “If Dale Earnhardt was so good, how come he was only 3?”
-    “Yes, I will have some grits.” Not offensive just good advice
-    Pointing to a Rebel flag and asking “Is that what y’all got for finishing second in the Civil War?
-    Asking any officer of the law if he is Roscoe or Enos.
-    Saying “The only thing more boring than college football is NASCAR.”
-    “I had the best BBQ while I was in Boston.
-    Charlie Daniels and Jack Daniels are not related.  Don’t ask.

This is by no means a complete list, but hopefully it will keep you out of trouble for a little while
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I have just finished a day of handing out race packets and answering the same questions over and over.  Now I am asking myself a question that I was hoping I would not have to answer for a while.  Why? Why has another one of my friends been taken?  I just got the news that Bill Corliss has been struck by a truck and killed while riding his bike.  Shit.

I have been riding for a long time now and as a result a lot of great and not so great people have crossed my path.  Bill was definitely the former.  There are many people that I know only on the bike but that does not mean that they are any less dear to me my “regular” friends.  I have never hung out with Bill on a social level. I don’t know his birthday or his favorite color.  Despite that Bill was always someone I enjoyed seeing and riding with.  He was someone I had a great deal of respect for as a rider and a person.  Sometimes bad things happen to good people.  Sometimes life is not fair.  All we can do is try to be as safe as possible and look out for one another out there.  It is hard enough starting the season without Allan in the peleton.  Let’s go out this season and race hard, fair and safe.  Bill and Al would have wanted it that way.
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I hate flying.  There are so many reasons.  The $9 stale tuna sandwiches, the bus driver errr pilots strutting around in their pseudo military uniforms, the seats that are smaller than a veal cow cage (hey PeTa where is that protest?), security checks, the list is endless.  The last few times I’ve flown I have had the misfortune of flying Delta.  Holy crap they are not even trying anymore.  Just declare bankruptcy and die.  Now I have profited from their employees complete disinterest so I really should not complain.  Shorting their stock was a nice 300% gain for me.  When I flew to ‘cross nationals the zombies at the baggage check never even asked me about my bike so it flew for free.  Again good for me but no surprise they are asking their employees to take a pay cut.  Then there is the retarded way they load the planes.  On every airline I have ever flown they load from the rear forward.  Not Delta.  They use this loading zone system.  Today I was loaded in Zone 3 (the last zone).  Guess where my seat was?  If you said in the front then you are obviously too smart to work at Delta.  Nope my seat was the second to last row.  On my connection flight I got Zone 1 and yes, I was in the first row.  Brilliant!

So anyway enough about that, Delta sucks.  I am now in Knoxville to time the Knoxville Marathon.  So far no one has said y’all, but I remain hopeful.  One thing I am really looking forward to here is getting some good BBQ.  I developed quite a taste for it while I was in Georgia this summer and good old SLC just does not have the real goods.
More to come….
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Just got back from seeing Illumiati, Nebula, and the Hellacopters.  Great show, since it was a Tuesday and it is SLC there were only about 40 people at the show .  AB is seeing them in So Cal on Saturday and says the show has been sold out for weeks.  Maybe tomorrow I will post some pics.

It turned into a pretty nice afternoon today so I broke off a sweet 2 hr ride.  A nice change from the FMAO rides I have had here lately.  Called Snake tonight and he lined me out on Bisbee, sounds like a killer race.  It sounds like one I could do well at if I am fit.  One race I know I won’t be ready for is Hell of the North, only a week away.  Taste the pain.

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3 days in Moab, here are the stats:
11.5 hours riding
0 hours riding in rain/snow
3900 chips assigned
2 shots whiskey on St. Patricks
3 number of women I dated I ran into

Not a bad weekend.

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   I can tell I am in Moab by the patchouli stink and the "Free Tibet" stickers….

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I am off to Moab today.  I will be working for my pals at Milliseconds timing the Moab 1/2 Marathon.  Not a bad gig.  I will be able to get in some big rides (probably Belgian style in the rain), hang in a formerly cool place on someone elses dime and walk away with some folding green. I really need to get mileage if I am going to do Bisbee and Gila.

Craig brought me back a bottle of absynth from Amsterdam to try and make up for not taking me with him.  Might crack it open this weekend, hopefully I won’t be mailing my ear to anyone.

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Yet another Phonak rider has been suspended for a positive dope test.  I guess it is fitting that they won the EPO Tour of California.  Check out this guys excuse:

"I got the stuff on the Internet from Germany," Urweider said. "I thought a substance from Germany would surely be okay. If it had been something from the US, I would never have tried it."

Huh?  So all those East German female swimmers with 5 oclock shadows where mail order doping from the USA?  I can’t wait for him to swear on his dead dogs life that he didn’t do it. Tool.
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It is supposed to be near 50 today.  Can I get a hell yeah?  Yesterday was another freeze my ass off (FMAO) ride.  Lasted 2 hours before I cried uncle, then finished it off with an hour on the trainer.  As nice as it will be today I really like riding when the conditions are bad.  Anyone can ride when it is nice, but only the most deeply disturbed will got out when it is bad.  Hell if it were easy the womens fields would be a lot bigger, right?.  To be honest I would rather ride in March than July.  I can put on more clothes, in July 100 degrees is hard to get away from. My knee felt good the whole time yesterday, I still have a long ways before I declare myself "fit".  Hell of the North is going to hurt this year, in a bad way.
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The weekly World Cup has been cancelled this week.  Something about ice on the course.  Probably just as well as my knee is not feeling so good and I probably would have been shelled anyway.  Dumb ass weather guy said that the best chance for snow today was in the afternoon.  I just finished 2 hours of freezing my ass off and getting snowed on this morning and now it is bright and sunny.  Welcome to spring in Utah.  Looks like Floyd will hang on to win Paris Nice.  For the record back in the day I beat him in a few Norba Nationals, same for that skinny little Tom Danielson.  Scoreboard baby!.

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